Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
be right there i have to get my cape
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
