I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
