I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
