I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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