And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
