I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
