i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
