We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
