Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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