Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want to be your penis for a week.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
