She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
