I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
