so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
