Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Someone shit on the floor
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Still dying that you shit outside
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
