He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
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