his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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