i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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