I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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