If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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