he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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