Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
