I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
