Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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