i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
