Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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