Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
