Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
