You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We have started to decorate penises.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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