So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
what day is it and did you see me today?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
