What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
