My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
