Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
