I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize