How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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