Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
