your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize