I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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