And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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