I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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