How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
