Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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