its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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