can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
