I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
