Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
