Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
