broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
