Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
