sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
