Will you blow on my dice?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
