Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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