Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
