I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
