Your face is a jimmy john
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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