belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
